“Charlotte,
are you crazy?” She stood up and crossed to the window. When the light hit her
face, I suddenly remembered how jealous I had been of her ever since middle
school. She was petite, pale, and had light curly hair. She was thin and
talented and got into every drama program that she auditioned for. Carrie got
all the attention from the boys, making me the appointed wing woman for the
past seven years. This need to escape from under her shadow affirmed my decision.
“Why not, Carrie? I've always wanted to go; I have all this time and no
commitments.” She seemed to find this funny. “Charlie, you don’t have any
money.” The fact that I thought this part out made me more excited to respond. “I
have all my Christmas money from years of saving and plus I have everything
from working last summer.” Carrie just stared at me with bewildered amusement.
“Your
parents are going to let you go?” I put my hands on my hips while I thought about
my reply. “They can’t really do anything about it, can they? I’m eighteen, I
have my own money and means…and my plane leaves Wednesday.” I didn't even
believe my fake assertion, but Carrie’s focus was elsewhere. Her jaw dropped. “You
already bought your ticket.” It wasn't a question, she was simply figuring out
my master plan. “Yes,” I began reassuring her. “And I’m calling my mom tonight
and telling her.” Carrier shook her head once more. “Good. Well, I’m all for
it.” I ran and hugged her. “Thank you,” I whispered as sincerely as I could.
That
night, Carrie forced me to call my mother…while she watched. I told her that I
didn't need a babysitter, but she wasn't convinced and neither was I. So, as we
sat on the floor just staring at each other, I finally made my move. Even as
the phone rang and I awaited hearing my mother’s voice, I had no idea what I
was going to say. To my relief, the phone continued ringing. When it stopped, I
mouthed the word “voice mail” to Carrie, and she gestured for me to continue. “Hey
Mom, I just wanted to let you know, I’m perfectly safe visiting Carrie at NYU…but
I guess I already told you that. Anyway, um, I’m going on a trip for a while. Everything’s
all set, I’m paying for everything, I’m just going away for a while, but I’ll
check in with you soon. Love you, bye.” I hung up as fast as I could, before
Carrie had time to object. When I looked up, she was already lunging at me,
trying to grab the phone. “Charlie! That wasn't good enough! You’re not just
going on some stupid road trip, you’re going overseas. What if something
happens while you’re there?” I was becoming exasperated with Carrie’s worrying.
“Then, my best friend knows I’m going and can figure it out. I’m trusting you
with this, Care, that’s why I told you I was going.” She had finally stopped trying
to wrestle the phone from my hand. Carrie looked up at me from under her
eyelashes. “You’ll check in everyday?” I held up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.
I downloaded Viber just for the occasion.” Carrie smiled and leaned across the
bed and hugged me. “Alright, as long as you’re careful.” I chuckled. “Of course,
you have no reason to be worried.”
I
couldn't sleep that night, not only because of the limited amount of space in
Carrie’s bed, but also because I was starting to regret my plan. I was
travelling out of the country for the first time, completely alone. I had never
gone anywhere besides the city in my whole life and now I was going to Rome by
myself. After about two hours of telling myself that I wasn't going and that I
was just going to go back home to Connecticut, I realized that I was never
going to have another opportunity to do this. I’m never going to have a lack of
responsibilities and commitments. I had to do this now if I ever wanted to do
it. I could go for as long as I wanted, as long as I had the money. This was my
time. I had never taken any risks before, so why not take a huge one when I
have the chance? I fell asleep with the permanent thought in my head that I was
going though with this trip, no matter what.
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